3/30/23 by Putin A. Sherton
 
Following recent events regarding abject lack of respect for district mandated dress code policy, Richland County School District One has begun a gradual shift in dress code to a new, updated version. Over the course of the next 3 months, substantial policy changes will become active and enforced in all schools throughout the district. This gradual approach hopes to ease students into a more enforced dress policy.

Primarily aiming to challenge total indecency in the public education system, Richland One claimed in a public press conference that, “Public school has grown too moderate in its approach regarding dress,” and “Discipline is a core and fundamental value of Richland One- to abandon that pillar of education in favor of leniency is a mistake not unnoticed.” Beginning next school year, the school district plans to correct that mistake crack down on the “loose dress requirements” they claim are “plaguing education.”

The following list encompasses all changes to dress code planned for the next 3 months. Previous dress code requirements will remain unless explicitly stated otherwise.

Changes to be implemented immediately:
· The only shoes allowed will be steel-toed boots
· Earrings are now deemed inappropriate, unless they are gold hoops
 · All students must wear gold hoops, in lieu of an ID
· The shoulder strap rule has been changed to wearing “wool sweaters only”
· The only pants allowed will be Scottish Kilts

The following clothing items are now banned:
· Eyeglasses of any kind: banned 
· Drawstring hoodies and jackets: banned 
· Hair ties: banned 
· Jeans: banned 
· All leggings: banned 
· Heels: banned 
· Athletic shoes: banned 
· Flip flops: banned 
· Clothing with any text on it: banned 
· Sweaters not meeting an 80% wool requirement: banned 
· Any shirt that is not a wool sweater: banned 
· Cotton or polyester products: banned 
· Earing that aren't gold hoops: banned
 
Failure to properly follow this new dress code will result in immediate expulsion. 

APRIL FOOLS!