Mrs. Janet's Purse Theft Uncovers Criminal Mastermind Operation
3/30/23 by Tr'Ash Panda
This past weekend, an outside camera facing the parking lot captured footage of the culprit of Mrs. Janet's missing purse. As hard as it was to understand at first, on the camera, there is clearly an image of a raccoon running across the campus with, believe it or not, Mrs. Janet's faculty ID around its neck and the purse clinched between its big raccoon teeth.
Further investigation has confirmed that this has not been an isolated incident, but rather one of many thefts by the group now known as the 'Raccoon Bandits.' These mischievous mammals have been terrorizing schools across the district for years, but this might be the first confirmed video recording of the crime in action. "I just couldn't believe it," said District Security Specialist, Mrs. Smith. "We've finally got something on camera. These raccoons have been destroying our schools for years."
For many students, this information comes as a massive shock and suprise, with many asking, "Are our schools safe?" Some students have even wondered if it has been the raccoons setting off the smoke alarms every Friday. Others question whether of not the raccoons are even to blame and ask if it could just be a big conspiracy coverup by AC Flora students.
Regardless of the reasons, if you have any information on the location of the Raccoon Bandit's secret stash of stolen bags and IDs, you are encouraged to contact Officer Cosby, Dreher's Resource Officer.